Doubt, procrastination and indecision. Have these issues ever haunted you? Doubt- “Can I do this? Is this the right thing to do? Is there something else that I should be doing?” etc. Procrastination- maybe we can call this “reverse prioritization” in that we may do everything except for what we should be doing but why? Indecision- “Maybe I should do this instead of that?” “Oh crap- did I do the wrong thing?” “Am I wasting my time?” etc. I would say that they are all dysfunctional siblings that slow us down and prevent us from finding the happiness and success that we seek in life.
As a student of life (and riding motorcycles, too) I understand doubt- the feeling that I am or will be unable to be successful in whatever venture that I might attempt. As a teacher I see it for what it is- doubt. Fear based on a lack of self-confidence, on a lack of trust in one’s own capacity and potential for success. I see the doubt as a shadowy ghost ever-present in one’s own mind that often no one else sees.
Procrastination is a strange aversion to doing the really important and necessary stuff- however simple it might be. I would like to examine procrastination further in the future but in short recognizing it for what it is- the avoidance of the necessary- is a big step towards exorcising this life-wasting demon from one’s life.
Indecision- the inability to “decide” what to do. Self- doubt. What path is the best one? This issue often causes one to get stuck in a cycle of decision then changing course again and again often causing one to figuratively run around in circles. How do we break out of the cycle of indecision and make decisions that we can live with and pursue with all of our energy and spirit?
In my opinion all of these issues revolve around the issue of fear and self-doubt. I deal with these issues personally every day and continue to attempt to minimize their effects on my life. At age 44 I feel that in the past I spent years pursuing my dreams that ultimately did not bear the fruit that I thought that my labors might bear. Now that I’m getting older I’m doing my best to pursue ventures that will be successful or at least have the best chance at being fruitful.
How does one use the knowledge and wisdom of the past to guide- but not diminish- one’s potential in the future? If you “didn’t know then then what you know now” is it possible to start over with a fresh perspective and more knowledge and insight? Many would say that age 44 I should just give up. As a matter of fact- I have been told that very thing many times over the years by friends, family and others even at younger ages. I don’t know that their words have had too much of a negative effect on my overall feeling of worth and ability but they certainly weren’t supportive. Such is the life of an artist…
So what is self-doubt, where does it come from and how can we slay this life-sucking demon? I’ll explore this in my next post…